View source for Stupid Newspaper Headines

<pre>
Date: Fri, 03 May 1996
From: Rhiannon Walker / rhiannon@COUGAR.MULTILINE.COM.AU
</pre>

<ul>
<li>Something went wrong in jet crash, experts says
<li>Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
<li>Safety Experts say school bus passengers should be belted
<li>Drunk gets nine months in violin case
<li>Survivor of siamese twins joins parents
<li>Farmer Bill dies in house
<li>Iraqi head seeks arms
<li>Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?
<li>Stud tires out
<li>Prostitutes appeal to Pope
<li>Panda mating fails; Veterinarian takes over
<li>Soviet virgin lands short of goal again
<li>British left waffles on Falkland Islands
<li>Lung cancer in women mushrooms
<li>Eye drops off shelf
<li>Teacher strikes idle kids
<li>Reagan wins on budget, but more lies ahead
<li>Squad helps dog bite victim
<li>Shot off woman's leg helps nicklaus to 66
<li>Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
<li>Plane too close to ground, crash probe told
<li>Miners refuse to work after death
<li>Juvenile court to try shooting defendant
<li>Stolen painting found by tree
<li>Two soviet ships collide, one dies
<li>2 sisters reunited after 18 years in checkout counter
<li>Killer sentenced to die for second time in 10 years
<li>Never withhold herpes infection from loved one
<li>Drunken drivers paid $1000 in '84
<li>War dims hope for peace
<li>If strike isn't settled quickly, it may last a while
<li>Cold wave linked to temperatures
</ul>

[[Category:Jokes from 1996]]
[[Category:People Jokes]]