The King in outer space

Date:    Mon, 27 Aug 1990 12:36 
From:    bostic@okeeffe.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Subject: The King in outer space

ELVIS IN FREE FALL

Some clever devil worked up a chart showing how much ELVIS PRESLEY would weigh at various sites in the solar system. The King tipped the scales at 255 when he died and, according to this chart, this means he would weigh about:

7,140 pounds on the Sun
97    pounds on Mercury or Mars
232   pounds on Venus or Uranus
43    pounds on the Moon
648   pounds on Jupiter
275   pounds on Saturn
303   pounds on Neptune
13    pounds on Pluto

Chris Mojo, a New York guitarist, told reporters that he used to have the chart on the back of his business cards. He said he borrowed the idea from Billy Gibbons, lead singer of the rock group ZZ Top.

Mojo added: "Everybody told me that was the best opening line for picking up women ever. Like, 'Do you know how much ELVIS would weigh on Pluto?'"

The reporters took this information straight to Graceland, where they found frowns of disapproval to be universal.

"It's really kind of tasteless," sniffed Todd Morgan, a spokesman for that gaudy mecca. "We have a lot more important things to worry about..."