User contributions for Joker
From Joke5.co.uk
28 June 2025
- 01:3901:39, 28 June 2025 diff hist +795 N Bill Clinton at a baseball game Created page with "<pre> Date: Fri, 20 Aug 1993 From: Arthur Emerson III / ae3@CTS1.MSMC.EDU </pre> <i>(A joke that I heard on the radio this morning.)</i> <hr> President Clinton and his family went out one evening to a baseball game. When the home team's catcher heard that the president was sitting in the stands, he went over to Bill and whispered something in his ear. <p> Bill smiled and nodded. A few minutes later, the catcher came over and said "It's time, Mr. President." <p> Bill lif..." current
- 01:3101:31, 28 June 2025 diff hist +687 N What kind of unredwear politicians have? Created page with "<pre> Date: Sun, 04 Aug 1996 From: Eric Clark / klucko@COMPUMEDIA.COM </pre> Many of us have heard the story of the time in 1992 when Clinton went on MTV and some girl asked him "America is <i>_dying_</i> to know: "Is it boxers, or briefs?"" <p> The candidate then feigned embarrassment and said "Boxers." <p> In 1995, some guy decided to ask Speaker Newt the same question. Newt appropriately answered back "That was a stupid question." <p> This year, someone decided tha..." current
25 June 2025
- 09:1009:10, 25 June 2025 diff hist +208 N Bathroom problems Created page with "<pre> Date: Mon, 12 Feb 2001 From: gwen@CE.UDEL.EDU / Gwen Meehan </pre> The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom. Category:Jokes from 2001 Category:Short Jokes" current
- 09:0909:09, 25 June 2025 diff hist +206 N Drive to work is never perfect Created page with "<pre> Date: Mon, 12 Feb 2001 From: gwen@CE.UDEL.EDU / Gwen Meehan </pre> The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you end up at work. Category:Jokes from 2001 Category:Short Jokes" current
- 09:0809:08, 25 June 2025 diff hist +438 N Man got bit by a stray rabid dog Created page with "<pre> Date: Mon, 12 Feb 2001 From: gwen@CE.UDEL.EDU / Gwen Meehan </pre> A neighbor of mine was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writhing furiously. I told him rabies could be cured and he didn't have to worry about a will. He said, "Will, what will? I'm making a list of people I'm gonna bite." Category:Jokes from 2001 Category:Medical Jokes Category:People Jokes Category:Short Jokes" current
- 09:0709:07, 25 June 2025 diff hist +263 N Shotgun with a broken firing pin Created page with "<pre> Date: Mon, 12 Feb 2001 From: gwen@CE.UDEL.EDU / Gwen Meehan </pre> Why is a government worker like a shotgun with a broken firing pin? It won't work and you can't fire it. Category:Jokes from 2001 Category:Political Jokes Category:Short Jokes" current
- 09:0609:06, 25 June 2025 diff hist +303 N The Blonde and the honest mechanic Created page with "<pre> Date: Mon, 12 Feb 2001 From: gwen@CE.UDEL.EDU / Gwen Meehan </pre> Blondie told her friend: "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, so I was relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid." Category:Blonde Jokes Category:Jokes from 2001 Category:Short Jokes" current
- 09:0409:04, 25 June 2025 diff hist +302 N Americans are getting stronger Created page with "<pre> Date: Mon, 12 Feb 2001 From: gwen@CE.UDEL.EDU / Gwen Meehan </pre> Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today - a five-year-old can do it. Category:Jokes from 2001 Category:People Jokes Category:Short Jokes" current
- 09:0309:03, 25 June 2025 diff hist +257 N Definition of a husband Created page with "<pre> Date: Mon, 12 Feb 2001 From: gwen@CE.UDEL.EDU / Gwen Meehan </pre> A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house. Category:Jokes from 2001 Category:People Jokes Category:Short Jokes" current
- 09:0209:02, 25 June 2025 diff hist +188 N Unusual kitchen Created page with "<pre> Date: Mon, 12 Feb 2001 From: gwen@CE.UDEL.EDU / Gwen Meehan </pre> My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines. Category:Jokes from 2001 Category:Short Jokes" current
- 09:0109:01, 25 June 2025 diff hist +233 N Death and taxes and something new Created page with "<pre> Date: Mon, 12 Feb 2001 From: gwen@CE.UDEL.EDU / Gwen Meehan </pre> It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too. Category:Jokes from 2001 Category:Short Jokes" current
- 09:0009:00, 25 June 2025 diff hist +195 N Mind like a lightning Created page with "<pre> Date: Mon, 12 Feb 2001 From: gwen@CE.UDEL.EDU / Gwen Meehan </pre> My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone. Category:Jokes from 2001 Category:Short Jokes" current
7 June 2025
- 20:5420:54, 7 June 2025 diff hist +321 N Vodka and Carrot Juice Created page with "<pre> Date: Mon, 8 Feb 1999 From: raghitescu@PCNET.PCNET.RO / Filip Razvan Ghitescu </pre> The Annual Bartender's Conference has just voted the cocktail of the year: Vodka and Carrot Juice. The main argument was that when you get drunk at least you can see better. Category:Jokes from 1999 Category:Short Jokes" current
- 13:5013:50, 7 June 2025 diff hist +74 Main Page No edit summary current
25 May 2025
- 14:5914:59, 25 May 2025 diff hist +1,034 N Category:Jokes from 1998 Created page with "In 1998, the world was arguably a less self-aware place, leading to some unintentionally humorous moments. For instance, the fashion trends alone, with their oversized everything and questionable color combinations, now serve as a source of amusement. Musically, the prevalence of heavily auto-tuned songs, while perhaps catchy at the time, can sound quite comical to modern ears. The rise of dial-up internet also presented its own brand of humor, with excruciatingly slo..." current
22 May 2025
- 21:0121:01, 22 May 2025 diff hist +102 Category:Redneck Jokes No edit summary current
- 21:0121:01, 22 May 2025 diff hist +102 Category:Military Jokes No edit summary current
- 21:0121:01, 22 May 2025 diff hist +102 Category:Jokes from 1999 No edit summary current
- 21:0121:01, 22 May 2025 diff hist +102 Category:Blonde Jokes No edit summary current
- 21:0021:00, 22 May 2025 diff hist +1,162 N Category:Jokes from 1994 Created page with "Fun facts and things that happened in 1994: The O.J. Simpson Bronco Chase – While the event itself was serious, the slow-speed police chase of O.J. Simpson’s white Ford Bronco became oddly comical. Millions tuned in to watch what was essentially a car driving at 35 mph on the highway, with news helicopters dramatically following along. Madonna’s Chaotic Interview – Madonna appeared on The Late Show with David Letterman and dropped 14 F-bombs, making it one of t..." current
- 20:3620:36, 22 May 2025 diff hist 0 Category:Jokes from 2001 No edit summary current
- 20:3620:36, 22 May 2025 diff hist +1,285 N Category:Jokes from 2001 Created page with "One amusing event from 2001 was the release of Shrek, which became an instant classic and gave us the iconic phrase, "Ogres are like onions!" - a metaphor that has confused and entertained audiences ever since. Another quirky fact: The longest sentence in a book was written in 2001! The Rotters’ Club by Jonathan Coe contained a 13,955-word sentence—which is basically the literary equivalent of someone talking non-stop without taking a breath! And now ... some amusi..."
- 17:3517:35, 22 May 2025 diff hist +102 Category:Puns and Wordplay Jokes No edit summary current
- 17:3517:35, 22 May 2025 diff hist +102 Category:Police Jokes No edit summary current
- 17:3517:35, 22 May 2025 diff hist +102 Category:Lawyer Jokes No edit summary current
- 17:3517:35, 22 May 2025 diff hist +102 Category:Ethnic Jokes No edit summary current
- 16:5016:50, 22 May 2025 diff hist +102 Category:People Jokes No edit summary current
13 May 2025
- 17:0117:01, 13 May 2025 diff hist +1,025 N Weird News: notorious for stealing candy Created page with "<pre> Date: Mon, 28 Nov 1994 From: SKR2%PSUADMIN.BITNET@uga.cc.uga.edu / Sharon Rondeau </pre> <i>From the Daily Collegian:</i> <p> Elland, England - A 14-year-old boy has united a West Yorkshire town against him. Since age 8, when he already was notorious for stealing candy, he has been arrested 88 times and convicted of 130 crimes, all within 1-1/2 miles of his home, courts and police say. <p> "I would pay for stocks on the precinct (town square) and leave him there w..." current
- 15:1215:12, 13 May 2025 diff hist +965 N Excerpts from student exams and papers (history) Created page with "<pre> Date: Wed, 16 Nov 1994 From: MASMITH@CARINS.CARIBOO.BC.CA / DNA: The splice of life </pre> <i>This month's internal news letter continues the tradition of including excerpts from student exams and papers. This month: history.</i> <hr> <ul> <li>Pharoah forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without straw <li>Moses led them to the Red Sea, where they made unleaven bread, which is bread without any ingredients. <li>Afterwards Moses went up to Mt Cyanide to get the te..." current
- 15:0815:08, 13 May 2025 diff hist +916 N The dangers of a friendly greeting Created page with "<pre> Date: Fri, 23 Nov 2001 From: Mike.Bainbridge@sita.int / Mike Bainbridge </pre> A friendly greeting caused a major airport security alert when a man called "Hi, Jack" to a colleague on board an aircraft. <p> A SWAT team and dozens of police reinforcements were called to the Oakland International Airport near Detroit in the US. <p> Lt. Rick Crigger said, "There was a guy on the plane named Jack, and someone walked in and said, 'Hi Jack'. The mike just happened to be..." current
- 10:4510:45, 13 May 2025 diff hist +411 N Category:People Jokes Created page with "This will be probably the biggest category of jokes in our site. Most jokes are about people or people are part of the action. Some jokes just do not have a specific theme or category to put them into, or it is very niche thing. Over the time some jokes would be re-categorized to specific sub-section, but for now... if it does not fit to specific category, it will be listed under "People Jokes" category. :)"
- 10:4110:41, 13 May 2025 diff hist +597 N Category:Police Jokes Created page with "Police jokes often play on stereotypes or humorous misunderstandings. You might hear jokes about police officers and doughnuts, or their supposed slowness in catching criminals. Some police jokes involve funny scenarios during traffic stops or investigations. The humour often comes from the unexpected twist or a silly portrayal of law enforcement. While some police officers themselves enjoy these light-hearted jokes, others might find them tiresome or inaccurate. Ulti..."
- 10:4010:40, 13 May 2025 diff hist +915 N Another reason to learn how to spell and count Created page with "<pre> Date: Thu, 13 Oct 1994 From: VIVEK@JCSVAX1.BITNET / Romeo </pre> <b>Can't Spell</b><br> Thomas Lee Jones, 24, was arrested last September for robbing a Santa Barbara restaurant with a note threatening "to shot" employees. Police set up a roadblock asking people to spell "shoot". They soon apprehended Jones. <p> <b>Can't Count</b><br> In Cranston, R.I., Donald M. Thomas, 34, escaped in March after serving 89 days of a 90-day jail sentence for disorderly conduct and..." current
- 10:3610:36, 13 May 2025 diff hist +938 N If a woodchuck could... (tongue twisters) Created page with "<pre> Date: Tue, 04 Oct 1994 From: JSTONE@LETTERKENN-EMH2.ARMY.MIL / John Stone </pre> We all knew part of this as kids, but I never knew the whole thing..... <hr> If a woodchuck could chuck wood,<br> How much wood would a woodchuck chuck,<br> If a woodchuck could chuck wood?<br> He would chuck, he would, as much as he could,<br> If a woodchuck could chuck wood. <hr> Can you imagine an imaginary menagerie manager imagining managing an imaginary menagerie? <hr> Ned Nott..." current
12 May 2025
- 17:0317:03, 12 May 2025 diff hist +942 N Tired Of Working? Created page with "<pre> Date: Thu, 09 Oct 1997 From: chaps@tc4hq.cmc.stph.net / Chaps </pre> If you are one of those people who feels tired of working too much, it is good to remember the words of Bernard Shaw who wrote: The year is made up of 365 days, each having 24 hours, 12 of which are night time hours, which add up to a total of 182 days. This leaves you with 183 days to work minus 52 Sundays, which leaves you with 131 days to work minus 52 Saturdays, which leaves you with 79 day..." current
- 16:5616:56, 12 May 2025 diff hist +862 N 10 Things You Never Hear in Church Created page with "<pre> Date: Fri, 27 Jul 2001 From: jokecenter.com </pre> <ol> <li>Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew. <li>I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time. <li>Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf. <li>I've decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists. <li>I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class. <li>Forget the denominational minimum salary, let..." current
11 May 2025
- 18:1318:13, 11 May 2025 diff hist +944 N Afraid of the Dark Created page with "<pre> Date: Wed, 27 Jun 2001 From: jokecenter.com </pre> A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark." The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you." The little boy looked at his mother re..." current
- 18:1018:10, 11 May 2025 diff hist +951 N Soliciting Donations Created page with "<pre> Date: Sat, 23 Jun 2001 From: jokecenter.com </pre> A minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play. "Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But you'll have to..." current
- 17:5917:59, 11 May 2025 diff hist +953 N The Mechanic vs. The Surgeon Created page with "<pre> Date: Tue, 15 May 2001 From: jokecenter.com </pre> Morris was removing some engine valves from a car on the lift when he spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr. Michael DeBakey, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager. Morris, somewhat of a loud mouth, shouted across the garage, "Hey DeBakey ... Is dat you ? Come over here a minute." The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where Morris was working on a car. Morris in a loud vo..." current
- 12:3512:35, 11 May 2025 diff hist +933 N 2 telephone messages Created page with "<pre> Date: Sat, 14 May 1994 From: Ian Chai / spectre@UIUC.EDU </pre> In Japan, the hand can be used like a knife.<br><i>[sound effect: Heeeeee-YAH!, smashing box of kleenex]</i> <p> But this method doesn't work with a telephone call...<br><i>[sound effect: dial tone]</i> <p> Introducing the all-new GINSU answering machine! It cuts, it chops, it slices, it dices your incoming calls! <p> How much would you pay? <p> Don't answer, because if you leave your name and number..." current
- 11:0911:09, 11 May 2025 diff hist +923 N Religious Golf Game Created page with "<pre> Date: Mon, 17 Apr 2001 From: jokecenter.com </pre> A bunch of Cardinals got together with the Pope and decided that they wanted to have a golf game against the other religions. The only problem was that none of the cardinals were very good golfers. One Cardninal turned to the Pope and suggested, "We could get Tiger Woods and ordane him as a Cardinal. He would ensure our victory." "That's a great idea", said the Pope. A few weeks later, the cardinals returned fr..." current
- 10:3510:35, 11 May 2025 diff hist +911 N Bible Humor from a small southern town Created page with "<pre> Date: Tue, 13 Jan, 1998 From: gcfl.net / Michael Charness </pre> In a small southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a "Quik Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You d..." current
- 10:3210:32, 11 May 2025 diff hist +902 N Who Gets the Collection Money? Created page with "<pre> Date: Mon, 16 Apr 2001 From: jokecenter.com </pre> A priest, rabbi and televangelist were playing their usual Wednesday round of golf, and started discussing their weekly collections. Specifically, they started to compare how they decided what portion of the collection to keep for themselves and what portion to give to God. The rabbi explains: "I draw a circle around myself and toss the money in the air. Whatever lands in the circle I keep for myself. Whatever la..." current
8 May 2025
- 22:4422:44, 8 May 2025 diff hist +825 N Helping Your Father Created page with "<pre> Date: 29-11-2008 From: Boards.ie / user: Podge2k7 </pre> A clergyman walking down a country lane and sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off. "You look hot, my son," said the cleric. "Why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand." "No thanks," said the young man. "My father wouldn't like it." "Don't be silly," the minister said. "Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water." Again the yo..." current
- 22:3522:35, 8 May 2025 diff hist +815 N Blonde wants to buy a portable TV Created page with "<pre> Date: 28-11-2004 From: Boards.ie / user: kleefarr </pre> Blonde woman goes into an electrical shop and says "I'd like that portable TV on the shelf". Assistant says, "We don't sell to blondes". She goes home and thinks sod it I'll dye my hair red. Goes back to the shop next day and says "I'd like that portable TV on the shelf". Assistant again says, "We don't sell to blondes." She thinks he must have recognised me from before, so goes home and dyes her hair je..." current
1 May 2025
- 22:3122:31, 1 May 2025 diff hist +1,084 N Top 10 Signs Your Co-Worker Is A Computer Hacker Created page with "<pre> Date: Wed, 7 Jan, 1998 From: www.gcfl.net / Thanx to William.Conway@gdc.com </pre> <ol> <li value=10> Everyone who ticks him off gets a $26,000 phone bill.</li> <li value=9> He's won the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes three years running.</li> <li value=8> When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex.</li> <li value=7> Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down.</li> <li value=6> Somehow gets HBO on his PC at work.</li> <li value=5> Mumb..." current
19 April 2025
- 20:5920:59, 19 April 2025 diff hist +2 Did you know those 2 facts about ants? No edit summary current
- 20:2120:21, 19 April 2025 diff hist +29 Did you know those 2 facts about ants? No edit summary
- 20:2120:21, 19 April 2025 diff hist +177 N So many jokes about unemployed people Created page with "I have so many jokes about unemployed people. But none of them work. <pre> Spotted on FB </pre> Category:Jokes from 2025 Category:People Jokes Category:Short Jokes" current
- 13:0213:02, 19 April 2025 diff hist +202 N Did you know those 2 facts about ants? Created page with "5 ants + 5 ants = tenants. Bringing ants to your country from another country = important. <pre> Source: Spotted on some FB group </pre> Category:Animal Jokes Category:Puns and Wordplay Jokes"