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27 July 2025

  • 12:0512:05, 27 July 2025 A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar (hist | edit) [632 bytes] Joker (talk | contribs) (Created page with "<pre> Date: Sun, 02 Oct 1994 From: Brian Cyr / S29208%MOTHER@UTRCGW.UTC.COM </pre> A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the bartender: <p> Brunette: "I'll have a B and C."<br> Bartender: "What is a B and C?".<br> Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke."<br> Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T."<br> Bartender: "What's a G and T?"<br> Redhead: "Gin and tonic."<br> Blonde: "I'll have a 15."<br> Bartender: "What's a 15?"<br> Blonde: "7 and 7" <hr> <i>7&7 is ba...")
  • 12:0112:01, 27 July 2025 What's the difference between a Blonde and a lightbulb? (hist | edit) [306 bytes] Joker (talk | contribs) (Created page with "<pre> Date: Sun, 02 Oct 1994 From: Brian Cyr / S29208%MOTHER@UTRCGW.UTC.COM </pre> Q: What's the difference between a Blonde and a lightbulb? <br> A: The lightbulb is smarter, but the blonde is easier to turn on. Category:Blonde Jokes Category:Lightbulb Jokes Category:Jokes from 1994")
  • 11:5911:59, 27 July 2025 How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? (hist | edit) [855 bytes] Joker (talk | contribs) (Created page with "<pre> Date: Sat, 02 Mar 1996 From: Rhiannon Walker / rhiannon@COUGAR.MULTILINE.COM.AU / Starchild </pre> Q: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? <p> A: Four hundred and sixty-two: <ul> <li>twelve to investigate Clinton's involvement in the failure of the old bulb, <li>twenty-three to deregulate the light bulb industry, <li>sixteen to cut funding for alternative lighting R&D, <li>thirty-four to cut the tax rate on light bulbs, <li>fi...")
  • 11:5011:50, 27 July 2025 Winnie the Pooh and John the Baptist (hist | edit) [302 bytes] Joker (talk | contribs) (Created page with "<pre> Date: Thu, 21 Jun 2001 From: JokeCenter / http://www.jokecenter.com/ </pre> Q. What do Winnie the Pooh and John the Baptist have in common? <br> A. They both have the same middle name — <b>THE</b> Category:Religion Jokes Category:Jokes from 2001 Category:Puns and Wordplay Jokes Category:Short Jokes")
  • 11:4311:43, 27 July 2025 Old Lady at the grocery store (hist | edit) [406 bytes] Joker (talk | contribs) (Created page with "<pre> Date: Tue, 15 May 2001 From: Les Pourciau / Pourciau@MEMPHIS.EDU </pre> A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. <p> She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" <p> The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead." </p> Category:Dark Humor Category:Jokes from 2001 Category:Short Jokes")
  • 11:4111:41, 27 July 2025 Mice in a cave (hist | edit) [611 bytes] Joker (talk | contribs) (Created page with "<pre> Date: Tue, 20 Jan 1998 From: Jim Mica / jmica@oa.ithaca.edu </pre> <i>Bill Stains (noted folksinger and songwriter) tells this one:</i> <hr> Two mice are being chased across a field by a wolf. <p> They duck into a small space between a couple of rocks and find themselves in a large cave. As their eyes get used to the dim light one of them looks up at the high ceiling and sees that it's covered with bats. <p> He tugs on his companion's shoulder and says, "Look! A...")
  • 11:3811:38, 27 July 2025 Science facts about reindeer (hist | edit) [831 bytes] Joker (talk | contribs) (Created page with "<pre> Date: Tue, 19 Dec 2000 From: Maurizio Mariotti / mariotti@VENTURENET.CO.ZA </pre> <p> According to the Alaska Department of Fish & Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year (the only members of the deer family, Cervidae, to have females that do so), male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring....")
  • 10:3710:37, 27 July 2025 A Very Special Rat (hist | edit) [1,335 bytes] Joker (talk | contribs) (Created page with "<pre> Date: Fri, 12 Mar 2025 From: FaceBook </pre> A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a wild trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender shrugs, "Sure, why not?" The guy reaches into his pocket and pulls out ... a tiny rat. Then out of the other pocket, he pulls a teeny-tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and starts playing the blues like a rodent Ray Charles. Stunned, the bartender pours him a free drink. After...")

19 July 2025

5 July 2025

  • 16:3816:38, 5 July 2025 Political Computer Virus Alert (hist | edit) [1,402 bytes] Joker (talk | contribs) (Created page with "<pre> Date: Sun, 06 Nov 1994 From: John Marra Naturalized Yooper / S20D@NMU.EDU </pre> <ul> <li><b>George Bush Virus</b> - Doesn't do anything, but you can't get rid of it until November.<br><br> <li><b>Ted Kennedy Virus</b> - Crashes your computer but denies it ever happened.<br><br> <li><b>Warren Commission Virus</b> - Won't allow you to open your files for 75 years.<br><br> <li><b>Jerry Brown Virus</b> - Blanks your screen and begins flashing an 800 number.<br><br> <...")

28 June 2025

  • 01:3901:39, 28 June 2025 Bill Clinton at a baseball game (hist | edit) [832 bytes] Joker (talk | contribs) (Created page with "<pre> Date: Fri, 20 Aug 1993 From: Arthur Emerson III / ae3@CTS1.MSMC.EDU </pre> <i>(A joke that I heard on the radio this morning.)</i> <hr> President Clinton and his family went out one evening to a baseball game. When the home team's catcher heard that the president was sitting in the stands, he went over to Bill and whispered something in his ear. <p> Bill smiled and nodded. A few minutes later, the catcher came over and said "It's time, Mr. President." <p> Bill lif...")
  • 01:3101:31, 28 June 2025 What kind of unredwear politicians have? (hist | edit) [687 bytes] Joker (talk | contribs) (Created page with "<pre> Date: Sun, 04 Aug 1996 From: Eric Clark / klucko@COMPUMEDIA.COM </pre> Many of us have heard the story of the time in 1992 when Clinton went on MTV and some girl asked him "America is <i>_dying_</i> to know: "Is it boxers, or briefs?"" <p> The candidate then feigned embarrassment and said "Boxers." <p> In 1995, some guy decided to ask Speaker Newt the same question. Newt appropriately answered back "That was a stupid question." <p> This year, someone decided tha...")

25 June 2025

7 June 2025

13 May 2025

  • 17:0117:01, 13 May 2025 Weird News: notorious for stealing candy (hist | edit) [1,025 bytes] Joker (talk | contribs) (Created page with "<pre> Date: Mon, 28 Nov 1994 From: SKR2%PSUADMIN.BITNET@uga.cc.uga.edu / Sharon Rondeau </pre> <i>From the Daily Collegian:</i> <p> Elland, England - A 14-year-old boy has united a West Yorkshire town against him. Since age 8, when he already was notorious for stealing candy, he has been arrested 88 times and convicted of 130 crimes, all within 1-1/2 miles of his home, courts and police say. <p> "I would pay for stocks on the precinct (town square) and leave him there w...")
  • 15:1215:12, 13 May 2025 Excerpts from student exams and papers (history) (hist | edit) [965 bytes] Joker (talk | contribs) (Created page with "<pre> Date: Wed, 16 Nov 1994 From: MASMITH@CARINS.CARIBOO.BC.CA / DNA: The splice of life </pre> <i>This month's internal news letter continues the tradition of including excerpts from student exams and papers. This month: history.</i> <hr> <ul> <li>Pharoah forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without straw <li>Moses led them to the Red Sea, where they made unleaven bread, which is bread without any ingredients. <li>Afterwards Moses went up to Mt Cyanide to get the te...")
  • 15:0815:08, 13 May 2025 The dangers of a friendly greeting (hist | edit) [916 bytes] Joker (talk | contribs) (Created page with "<pre> Date: Fri, 23 Nov 2001 From: Mike.Bainbridge@sita.int / Mike Bainbridge </pre> A friendly greeting caused a major airport security alert when a man called "Hi, Jack" to a colleague on board an aircraft. <p> A SWAT team and dozens of police reinforcements were called to the Oakland International Airport near Detroit in the US. <p> Lt. Rick Crigger said, "There was a guy on the plane named Jack, and someone walked in and said, 'Hi Jack'. The mike just happened to be...")
  • 10:4010:40, 13 May 2025 Another reason to learn how to spell and count (hist | edit) [915 bytes] Joker (talk | contribs) (Created page with "<pre> Date: Thu, 13 Oct 1994 From: VIVEK@JCSVAX1.BITNET / Romeo </pre> <b>Can't Spell</b><br> Thomas Lee Jones, 24, was arrested last September for robbing a Santa Barbara restaurant with a note threatening "to shot" employees. Police set up a roadblock asking people to spell "shoot". They soon apprehended Jones. <p> <b>Can't Count</b><br> In Cranston, R.I., Donald M. Thomas, 34, escaped in March after serving 89 days of a 90-day jail sentence for disorderly conduct and...")
  • 10:3610:36, 13 May 2025 If a woodchuck could... (tongue twisters) (hist | edit) [938 bytes] Joker (talk | contribs) (Created page with "<pre> Date: Tue, 04 Oct 1994 From: JSTONE@LETTERKENN-EMH2.ARMY.MIL / John Stone </pre> We all knew part of this as kids, but I never knew the whole thing..... <hr> If a woodchuck could chuck wood,<br> How much wood would a woodchuck chuck,<br> If a woodchuck could chuck wood?<br> He would chuck, he would, as much as he could,<br> If a woodchuck could chuck wood. <hr> Can you imagine an imaginary menagerie manager imagining managing an imaginary menagerie? <hr> Ned Nott...")

12 May 2025

  • 17:0317:03, 12 May 2025 Tired Of Working? (hist | edit) [942 bytes] Joker (talk | contribs) (Created page with "<pre> Date: Thu, 09 Oct 1997 From: chaps@tc4hq.cmc.stph.net / Chaps </pre> If you are one of those people who feels tired of working too much, it is good to remember the words of Bernard Shaw who wrote: The year is made up of 365 days, each having 24 hours, 12 of which are night time hours, which add up to a total of 182 days. This leaves you with 183 days to work minus 52 Sundays, which leaves you with 131 days to work minus 52 Saturdays, which leaves you with 79 day...")
  • 16:5616:56, 12 May 2025 10 Things You Never Hear in Church (hist | edit) [862 bytes] Joker (talk | contribs) (Created page with "<pre> Date: Fri, 27 Jul 2001 From: jokecenter.com </pre> <ol> <li>Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew. <li>I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time. <li>Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf. <li>I've decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists. <li>I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class. <li>Forget the denominational minimum salary, let...")

11 May 2025

  • 18:1318:13, 11 May 2025 Afraid of the Dark (hist | edit) [944 bytes] Joker (talk | contribs) (Created page with "<pre> Date: Wed, 27 Jun 2001 From: jokecenter.com </pre> A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark." The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you." The little boy looked at his mother re...")
  • 18:1018:10, 11 May 2025 Soliciting Donations (hist | edit) [951 bytes] Joker (talk | contribs) (Created page with "<pre> Date: Sat, 23 Jun 2001 From: jokecenter.com </pre> A minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play. "Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But you'll have to...")
  • 17:5917:59, 11 May 2025 The Mechanic vs. The Surgeon (hist | edit) [953 bytes] Joker (talk | contribs) (Created page with "<pre> Date: Tue, 15 May 2001 From: jokecenter.com </pre> Morris was removing some engine valves from a car on the lift when he spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr. Michael DeBakey, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager. Morris, somewhat of a loud mouth, shouted across the garage, "Hey DeBakey ... Is dat you ? Come over here a minute." The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where Morris was working on a car. Morris in a loud vo...")
  • 12:3512:35, 11 May 2025 2 telephone messages (hist | edit) [933 bytes] Joker (talk | contribs) (Created page with "<pre> Date: Sat, 14 May 1994 From: Ian Chai / spectre@UIUC.EDU </pre> In Japan, the hand can be used like a knife.<br><i>[sound effect: Heeeeee-YAH!, smashing box of kleenex]</i> <p> But this method doesn't work with a telephone call...<br><i>[sound effect: dial tone]</i> <p> Introducing the all-new GINSU answering machine! It cuts, it chops, it slices, it dices your incoming calls! <p> How much would you pay? <p> Don't answer, because if you leave your name and number...")
  • 11:0911:09, 11 May 2025 Religious Golf Game (hist | edit) [923 bytes] Joker (talk | contribs) (Created page with "<pre> Date: Mon, 17 Apr 2001 From: jokecenter.com </pre> A bunch of Cardinals got together with the Pope and decided that they wanted to have a golf game against the other religions. The only problem was that none of the cardinals were very good golfers. One Cardninal turned to the Pope and suggested, "We could get Tiger Woods and ordane him as a Cardinal. He would ensure our victory." "That's a great idea", said the Pope. A few weeks later, the cardinals returned fr...")
  • 10:3510:35, 11 May 2025 Bible Humor from a small southern town (hist | edit) [911 bytes] Joker (talk | contribs) (Created page with "<pre> Date: Tue, 13 Jan, 1998 From: gcfl.net / Michael Charness </pre> In a small southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a "Quik Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You d...")
  • 10:3210:32, 11 May 2025 Who Gets the Collection Money? (hist | edit) [902 bytes] Joker (talk | contribs) (Created page with "<pre> Date: Mon, 16 Apr 2001 From: jokecenter.com </pre> A priest, rabbi and televangelist were playing their usual Wednesday round of golf, and started discussing their weekly collections. Specifically, they started to compare how they decided what portion of the collection to keep for themselves and what portion to give to God. The rabbi explains: "I draw a circle around myself and toss the money in the air. Whatever lands in the circle I keep for myself. Whatever la...")

8 May 2025

  • 22:4422:44, 8 May 2025 Helping Your Father (hist | edit) [825 bytes] Joker (talk | contribs) (Created page with "<pre> Date: 29-11-2008 From: Boards.ie / user: Podge2k7 </pre> A clergyman walking down a country lane and sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off. "You look hot, my son," said the cleric. "Why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand." "No thanks," said the young man. "My father wouldn't like it." "Don't be silly," the minister said. "Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water." Again the yo...")
  • 22:3522:35, 8 May 2025 Blonde wants to buy a portable TV (hist | edit) [815 bytes] Joker (talk | contribs) (Created page with "<pre> Date: 28-11-2004 From: Boards.ie / user: kleefarr </pre> Blonde woman goes into an electrical shop and says "I'd like that portable TV on the shelf". Assistant says, "We don't sell to blondes". She goes home and thinks sod it I'll dye my hair red. Goes back to the shop next day and says "I'd like that portable TV on the shelf". Assistant again says, "We don't sell to blondes." She thinks he must have recognised me from before, so goes home and dyes her hair je...")

1 May 2025

  • 22:3122:31, 1 May 2025 Top 10 Signs Your Co-Worker Is A Computer Hacker (hist | edit) [1,084 bytes] Joker (talk | contribs) (Created page with "<pre> Date: Wed, 7 Jan, 1998 From: www.gcfl.net / Thanx to William.Conway@gdc.com </pre> <ol> <li value=10> Everyone who ticks him off gets a $26,000 phone bill.</li> <li value=9> He's won the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes three years running.</li> <li value=8> When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex.</li> <li value=7> Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down.</li> <li value=6> Somehow gets HBO on his PC at work.</li> <li value=5> Mumb...")
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